Seriously, Clark?

Like for real? No. Seriously. No. Just…no.

[whiny rich girl problem rant to commence]

I don’t get it. I honestly don’t understand. Why the fuck is my running still so bad and only getting worse? Seriously. (Okay, I”m done with the “seriously”s now.) At the very least I would think I would be just maintaining speed, but so help me god I’m getting slower.

I finally went running with Preacher’s Wife yesterday. And it was quite fun – she’s super nice and we chitchatted away. We even have a standing date for Wednesday afternoons to run together, at least until it gets New-England-in-winter cold. But the run did have one major downside to it: wicked lightheadedness at about the 2.75 mile mark. As in I’m running along (at about a 10:15ish mile I think) and all of a sudden things are just weird, like I had just stood up too quickly and the world swims in front of your eyes. Ugh and ugh. And so we walked the rest of the way home. Which, by the way, is just a lot sloooower than running and I tend to get impatient.

Wtf. Seriously. (Okay, I guess I wasn’t done with the seriouslys.) Oh, and to throw another potato into the pot, I’m tired. Like stupid tired. Like an “I’ve been awake for an hour or two in the middle of the night for the past three nights and I’m about to die of tiredness” kind of tired.*

I’m this close to being done. Just flat out done. Throw in the towel, tap out, insert other cliched sports term here done. Eff that shit. I’ve got better things to do with 5ish hours a week than to keep slamming into the same proverbial brick wall over and over.

That’s it. Rant over. I’m outy. (Picture me saying that while doing some weird inner city pound-my-chest-with-my-fist and walking away with a swagger kind of thing.)

*And if one mother of a baby cuts in and says “you don’t know tired until you’ve had a baby and need to get up at all hours to feed it and blah blah blah” I’m going to kick the crap out of her. Mothers of babies don’t have a monopoly on being tired. And plus: you chose that shit, lady. I’m sure I don’t know how tired you are, but shut the eff up and don’t play the “if you think you’re tired/stressed/whatever look at my life” game. It’s obnoxious. Let a girl have her rant. The polite response is “wow, that sounds terrible. I hope you catch up on your sleep soon.”

5 Responses to Seriously, Clark?

  1. Sissy-poo says:

    Wow! That sounds terrible! I hope you catch up on your sleep soon! :)

  2. Sissy-poo says:

    Oh and you forgot that after you pound on your chest, you’re supposed to do a weird sideways-point at the person you’re saying “outy” to. (For some reason I believe Cher spelled it “Audi” like the car, which I never understood.) Anyway so yes, don’t forget the sideways-point. Trust me, I know my inner-city swagger.

    • Stephanie says:

      Yeah, you’re totally right. I thought about putting that in there, but I figured I already sounded stupid enough trying describe in words some gesture that I have no business doing, let alone describing. No need to show my complete ignorance any more than need be!

  3. SeeAlliRun says:

    I know the awake in the middle of the night feeling.. I get night-sweats, yeah I know what you’re thinking, I’m too young for that, but it’s not like that, anyway, I often wake up in a puddle of my own sweat and then can’t fall back to sleep, only to be tired the next day when running, at work, etc, it sucks.

    I am also guilty of saying “Seriously” way more often than necessary. Also ridiculous and anyways.

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